My grandmother and grandfather were together for 40+ years. My mom and dad have been together for over 30 years, and I’m engaged to a man that I’ve been with for nearly six years. Here are a few tips based on what I’ve learned from those experiences and more.
You trust them 100% – We all know that if you don’t trust someone its really really tough to have a successful relationship but I don’t think people take trust serious enough. When my dad leaves the house my mom will often jokingly say “I don’t care where he goes, he’s out of my hair.” In reality, she didn’t care where he went as long as he came back home safe because she didn’t have to. I feel the same way about my fiance. I could not imagine not trusting him or keeping tabs on him partially, because he grew up with a solid family foundation and was taught to respect women. But also because he’s the most honest person I’ve ever met – sometimes TOO honest. If you trust your partner completely, it will remove unnecessary tension, resentment, and insecurity from your relationship. I’ve heard so many men and women in straight and LGBT relationships who expect their partner to cheat – bish where?
They make you happy 80% of the time – 100% of the time is just a darn lie. I came up with 80% because 50% of the time is too little and more than 80% of the time is reaching. My parents argue a LOT. They can argue over who’s going to start an argument. A few years ago I asked my mom “Why don’t you just get a divorce?” She looked at me confused and said “Just because you don’t agree on something [or many things] doesn’t mean you just give up.” While I will say that I think my parents argue too much, they don’t take themselves as seriously as I do. They never think about not being together during or after an argument. Not being happy with each other actually allows you to learn about each other and teaches you how to communicate. If you’re with someone for a while who never argues or never disagrees with you, they might be a serial killer. No, seriously.
You accept what you can’t stand about them – The bottom line is you won’t like everything about your partner. They may be messy, or smack when they eat. They may complain a lot, have an attitude sometimes, or have an annoying family. That’s life. I truly believe that everyone on this earth has several people that they could marry. There is no one person here chosen for you and only you BUT when you find someone who you accept even when you don’t like some of what they do, that is special. You both, at that point, decide “I don’t care what else is out there because I choose you.” I have an attitude problem, I think I’m always right, I need a lot of attention, and I am very very emotional. I know that these are all things that my fiance can’t stand about me but he accepts those things because he loves so many other things about me.
You love traveling with them – Every successful couple that I’ve ever seen has a blast when they travel together. From my friend’s parents, to aunts and uncles, or cousins who have great relationships. My parents have such a good time traveling together that one of my life goals is to make enough money to take them with me on trips. My fiance and I have been on a few trips recently and it makes us both so incredibly happy. You get to know each other better, and I’ve found that we can have deeper conversations without one of us (me) getting upset or tense. It’s not just about romance either. Experiencing something new together after you’ve been in a relationship for a few years really creates a special bond along with memories and sheer happiness.