What I learned About Friendship @ 26

….And 27. I took friendships very seriously as a very young adult and as I got older that has really changed for me. I began to let go. I now realize that every person in your life has a place and I’ve stopped trying to make people who don’t fit, fit. I hate the quote “some people are in your life for a reason and some for a season.” Some people you meet for no significant reason at all. That quote that assumes that when you meet someone, that interaction is about you when it could be about them and their journey. In no way will that person affect your personal journey unless you get in your own way by overthinking why they’re there. Here are my lessons:

  1. We don’t need to talk every day. Aging comes with new relationships, kids, marriage, and careers. When life gets busy, you just won’t have time to talk every day or every week (or every moth). The sooner I realized that this is not abandonment, we cool, the more fun I found spending an hour catching up with a girlfriend I haven’t spoken to in a while.
  2. Everyone experiences life from their own POV. I’ve had lots of disagreements with friends, but I didn’t realize that every disagreement I’ve ever had was from my POV until the last year or so. Me, my side, what  I thought, what you said to ME. All I could focus on was my own experience – my own ego. I realized, dang she probably doesn’t see life the exact same way that I do – Imagine that. Am I not the only one with a POV (sarcastically)? I stopped getting mad or getting offended and started pulling my ego out of the equation. It allowed me to be forgiving. I began to want to hear other people’s POV before my own and to stop assuming I was right and they’re wrong. There is nothing to be “right” about because we’re not married. (lol)
  3. Not everyone will support you. This blog is a great example of this. I started this a few weeks ago. I have 900 FB friends, 50 friends invited to my wedding, and 6 followers on this blog. There is something about getting older that forces you to stop turning to other people for acceptance. Accept yourself! Support yourself! Encourage yourself! (yes, I’m shouting) In the past, no one was ever encouraging or discouraging me. It has always been my own opinions of what others thought that deterred me from doing what I was passionate about – so give that $h!* up.
  4. We don’t have to be “friends.” I used to think “Oh we’ve been friends for five years, why would we not be friends after all this time?” Because sometimes you’re just no longer friends bih. That doesn’t mean that we hate each other or that if you needed advice or non monetary assistance that I would turn my back on you. It just means that we can both let go of the obligations that we’ve put around the word “friend.” For me, the list of obligations used to be long. Now, there is almost nothing you have to do. Either way, we’re still cool.

I’ve actually learned way more than this, but let’s call this the first edition. On another note, don’t y’all miss the show Girlfriends? Dang these women are fine! #blackgirlmagic


4 thoughts on “What I learned About Friendship @ 26

  1. You’re right. The older you get, the more you realize the opinions of others can be immobilizing if you let them. The sooner you realize this, the sooner you’ll open yourself up to seizing new opportunities or pursuing new ideas or ventures. I’ve known too many people living with too many regrets and disappointment because of getting in their own way. Myself included. Be your biggest advocate!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Amen to a lot of this. However I have a different outlook in the “reason/season” quote…

    Sometimes the reason is for you to be the teacher.

    Thats your “personal gain” in the instances where you feel it has nothing to do w/ you(well, it doesnt here on Earth), the “work” you do our of the kindness of your heart, never goes unnoticed by the Lord, as it exemplifies Him.

    That WILL come back to you later, and it will be ALL ABOUT & JUST FOR, YOU!

    In love this, and you! Very proud. Keep soon you, we’re watching and hoping for the best.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Good point! I will say that I am still confused about whether the way I treat people here on earth truly affects my relationship God OR if it affects my life her on earth. I tend to lean towards the fact that God’s love is unconditional so, I could treat people bad an he would still love me. However, I must remain positive here on earth in order to realize and enjoy all that God has for me here. I could elaborate on this but I would talk your ear off!!!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s